One Spring Day

Such is the image of Him.

Of the man who was the love of my life for 19 years, my husband of 17yrs4mos and the father of my 2 beautiful kids.

Such is the image of him weeping on 04/30/23 over losing the chance to be with the person he loves so much, my best friend.

This is the image that invoked so much pain in me.

At the time, it was just pain and bitterness. Today 05/02/23 I feel the irony, the anger, the huge disappointment. And most importantly, the respect for him departing.

This is the man I had loved and devoted my youth, my mind, my heart, my soul and my respect for.

I suppose I never understand human, or men specifically.

One minute – actually more like “many years” – I was the love of his life, the pillar of his success, the foundation of his life. The next day I became the wife that he never truly loved, the person he never “had any chemistry” with, and most importantly the huge roadblock on the path to his “true love”.

Betrayal is one thing I never ever thought this man is capable of. But just as the success he&I achieved throughout our 17 years marriage surprised me, he again did the unthinkable.

Shocked as it is, heart-broken as it is, sad as it is, painful as it is; I know I will grow from this, stronger and nevertheless wiser.

Wise enough to never trust anyone fully ever again, as I have been betrayed by the two persons closest to me; the same people I loved and cared for the most.

Such is life. Full of bullshit and surprises.

As I have been since 04/17/23; today – 05/02/23 – I pray to have clarity and strength to grow from this ashes of betrayal.

And to thrive for my kids and myself.

Day 15 of my Betrayal grieving and self healing process. I feel very strongly that I’m inching closer and closer to Acceptance & Recovery.

Tomorrow will be a better day, I know it will be.

Once you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is UP.

Love to myself, my kids, my parents and my true friends who had been with me every step of this very difficult path.